11 pounds down.
Slowly but surely. Slowly but surely.
As a nation, we need to stop using the word...
Any of you spouting “epic fail” obnoxiously are directly responsible for the ruin of the word “fail.” I’m looking at you, Katy Perry. You’re part of this.
IT'S BILLY MAYS DAY AGAIN
BILLY MAYS HERE WISHING YOU A GREAT BILLY MAYS DAY! BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! I’M CAPSLOCKING EVERYTHING I WRITE TODAY TO COMMEMORATE BILLY MAYS DAY! THERE MAY BE OTHER DAYS THAT THINK THEY CAN MATCH THE FORTITUDE AND POWER OF BILLY MAYS DAY, BUT DON’T LET THEM FOOL YOU! THERE’S ONLY ONE BILLY MAYS DAY! CELEBRATE BILLY MAYS NOW AND YOU’LL RECEIVE A FREE BEARD!...
I need to watch my mouth when I drink
So today I went to Chili’s for the first time in forfuckingever. There was a family sitting behind me, so I realized I had to watch my mouth. For some reason, I made the mistake of ordering a white Russian. I’m not saying that white Russians are mistakes, because they are fucking great. The white Russian was served in a regular glass. Not a small rocks glass. It was like a beer glass....
whywehateyou: We hate you because you steal our pens. This keeps happening to me. It’s not cool. Then I have to bring my own pens to work :[
Another day, another customer throwing something...
Every time someone comes through the line with a credit or debit card, we’re supposed to check for an ID. I tried to ID this guy, and I had forgotten to ID the guy before him. So he was like “WHAT DO YOU THINK I STOLE THIS CARD I BEEN ALL OVER THIS COUNTRY AND I NEVER HAVE TO SHOW ID BUT I GET CARDED IN MY DAMN BACKYARD THAT PISSES ME OFF” as I tried to explain to him that I...
I had a double nightmare last night.
In my dream, I took a job at Six Flags again, but forgot until my first day back that beards were prohibited. So I had an internal conflict about ridding myself of something I take pride in so I could make extra money. I was ready to leave and never look back. Also, my dog Dixie had died. She’s not really my dog; she’s my dad’s and stepmom’s dog. I love her to death, as...
So today I did my first double at work.
It was so I could shave an occurrence point off, plus extra money feels nice. So I picked up a greeter shift for the afternoon after I was done with my morning cashier shift. I got to my ticket booth at 8:30, thinking I would probably get out around 1:00 or 1:30, right before I had to be in for the greeter shift. That was not the case. I didn’t get out of my ticket booth until well after...
I hate AP quizzes so much
Would totally have an A if it wasn’t for AP quizzes fucking with me more than professors who think large black boxes are good prompts.
My lit exam was a mindfuck.
One prompt read “Using examples from Melville and Hawthorne, explain the following:” proceeded by a large black rectangle. It wasn’t a typo. The professor legitimately expected us to write four pages based on a black box. It was like that English movie Exam, but without magic healing bullets. Fucking troll teacher.
Eric Cantor and Jon Kyl walk out while Vice... →
Good thing we have such mature leaders making decisions for our country. I mean, the only way they could have handled it with more poise would be if they shoved their fingers in their ears and said “Na-na-na-na-na-na can’t hear you.”
Matt just reminded me that the American version of...
And my favorite show, Futurama.
I've had Taco Bell two nights in a row.
Like a fucking boss. I didn’t think the diet food at Taco Bell would be edible. But I’m proven wrong. But seriously, I need to go grocery shopping. Our kitchen is devoid of any food that’s actually mine. And I’m not eating Subway for breakfast again. They may have tons of healthy options, but I’d rather give a rim job to Phil Margera than eat there for breakfast...
FYPblog: oh moms...pffffff →
fypblog: this is a blog i came about… kinda hilarious. sorry if it was posted before. heres the link if your interested http://www.lamomsblog.com/2008/07/draft-pokemon-a.html July 14, 2008 Pokemon-Anon I live with an eight-year-old Pokemon addict. If anyone knows of a support… Lol’d hard at “gateway to Dungeons and Dragons.”
Well, there’s some slightly good news. Not as big of a withdrawal as I hoped, but I guess any withdrawal from Afghanistan is progress. Hopefully next year’s withdrawal is much larger. EDIT: Apparently the idea is that there will be a much larger withdrawal next year, with three times that number at the end of next summer. As douchey as this will read, that’ll be great for his...
Today we were talking about phallic imagery in...
And a guy in class made a connection between this story and the “Chinpokomon” episode of South Park. Essentially, it was that both stories had to do with the quest for male dominance in American culture. He drew the comparison based on the fact that the Prime Minister of Japan manages to carry on Japan’s invasion of the United States by convincing President Clinton of how...
I hate being a cashier.
I hate being treated like shit because my job unfortunately involves me providing a service at a monetary cost. I hate being treated as sub-human. I hate the fact that every time I try to talk to a customer he or she will assume I’m ripping him or her off, as if I get a commission beyond my shitty hourly wage. The sooner I stop being a cashier, the better.
socialistexan: “You can always follow me on Tweeter.” — Texas Gov. Rick Perry, botching the name of a social media platform while accepting an award for new media activism. (via officialssay) You can also visit his Facespace, YouTV or Flippr. I heard his campaign recently started a Fumblr.
Scheduled to work from tomorrow until next...
Fuck me. I have a lit exam this week on top of that. Pic related, it’s how I project my head to feel by the end of this. Fuck work. I should be too busy being young to bother with a job right now.
David Burge @iowahawkblog Chicagoland USA had his own unique take on Texas Gov....– What Gov. Perry Has in Common with Pres. Obama … And since Governor Perry has taken office, unemployment has gone up from 4.2% to 8%, and the deficit is at $18 billion. Giving RIck Perry such praise for Texas’s declining economy is beyond baffling to me.
Every time someone uses Cuba as an example for the...
Oh god damn it.
I forgot to flush my toilet before I left my apartment for the weekend. My bathroom, and bedroom by extension, smell like stale goddamn piss. mfw:
Fuck Game of Thrones
I’ll miss you, Khal Drogo. One bad motherfucker. Of course I’ll watch the show next season. But Jesus, Khal Drogo was cool.
I'm watching the Great Muppet Caper
Gonzo: “It’ll add human interest!” Fozzy: “But I’m a bear.” Love the Muppets so goddamn much. I loved this movie when I was a kid.